In Which Misreading Leads to Creativity

I was reading the paper this morning and quickly glanced over a headline that read “Steep Gun Laws Considered.” In my haste, I read “Sleep Gun Laws” and thus the following was born. Use it in your next weird science fantasy campaign or have it left over from the Elder Race that founded the campaign world.

Sleep Gun: Formed from an unearthly substance similar to glass, yet stronger than adamant, this object is of a fluted, Baroque design. The device features a protruding grip by which to hold it while aiming the object’s tulip-shaped barrel towards an opponent. When operated, the item fires an invisible, soundless beam of slumber-inducing particles, causing the victim to fall into a deep sleep. This beam acts like the 1st level magic-user spell, sleep, but only affects a single individual of up to 4+1 HD. Although the victim does not receive a saving throw to avoid the effects of the beam, the sleep gun must successfully strike its target and requires a successful “to hit” roll on the part of the operator. The sleep gun ignores armor for the purpose of determining a successful strike, but DEX adjustments apply to both the operator’s attack roll and to the defender’s adjusted AC. Sleep guns have 2d10 power charges when found.

Snake + Gator = Dog

I'll be at a game tonight while this is airing, but you can bet your last Swatch and Hypercolor T-shirt that this is being DVR'd. The challenge is figuring out who I should root for: Long Islander Deborah "Debbie" Gibson or "I did a Playboy spread" Tiffany? If only they had figured out a way to work Amy Fisher in...

If I had some New Coke to wash down this cheese, it'd be the perfect 80's flashback.

Review of Realms of Crawling Chaos

Part one of a review of Realms of Crawling Chaos is now up on Hill Cantons. My favorite part:

… co-written by one of the better (if not best) current workhorses of classic-play D&D, Michael Curtis.

I think that’s the first time I’ve ever been called a “workhorse.” “Clotheshorse” and “horse’s ass,” yes, but not “workhorse.” And to think that I was just chastising myself for slacking lately…

Check out the review and then go get the book.

Stonehell Campaign Map

Over at The Savage Sword of Scadgrad, there has been a player’s map posted for scadgrad’s online MapTool campaign. Done in the style of “your crazy, adventuring uncle left this to you on his deathbed,” the map shows just how easy it is to drop Ol’ Stony into any campaign world. Check out the post here.

And speaking of megadungeons, Kesher’s posted a great quote over at the Original Dungeons & Dragons Discussion forum, having found it at The Alexandrian. Having been working on and running Stonehell for more than two years now, I both identify with this remark and heartily agree with it.

In many ways, I feel like a megadungeon becomes the DM's character. And I play my megadungeon much like I would play a PC. Before play begins, I don't really know what my megadungeon is going to do: But my random encounter tables generate 2d4 anubians just after the PCs raid the depths, and I know the anubians have sent a team of assassins to hunt them down. Black-eyed cultists are holding a ritual on Level 2 and I suddenly know the sin day they're celebrating. Lizardmen show up in the anubian sections of the dungeon and I know tensions are erupting between their tribes. Then the minotaur shows up to determine why tribute is not being paid and... and... and...

And a story gets told.

New Eldritch Artifact for Realms of Crawling Chaos

I had a lot of fun contributing to Realms of Crawling Chaos, and I’m deeply indebted to Dan Proctor for allowing me to add a little bit to his most excellent supplement. The opportunity to revel in Lovecraft and Labyrinth Lord simultaneously was the most fun I’ve had in some time—even if it did hurt the old noggin at times.

Dan had the book pretty much together when I came aboard and he deserves all the credit for turning out such a horrific, wondrous creation. I merely helped patch a few holes and made sure that we didn’t miss anything obvious along the way. My biggest contribution was what became Appendix One and Two: the rules for deciphering eldritch tomes and creating Lovecraftian artifacts that didn’t suffer from a surfeit of tentacles. I’m pretty proud of both systems and I hope readers get both some use and a kick out of them. Of course, as with any book, not everything makes it to the final draft. Dan’s given me permission to post one of the mystical items that was sidelined during the writing process.

As a myopic reader of strange texts, and most certainly as an undergrad tackling the classics, I could have used a pair of these spectacles. For those of you whose characters dare to peruse the pages of tomes uncovered in a Realms of Crawling Chaos campaign, the following could literally save your soul.

Lenses of Blasphemous Comprehension: This object is usually encountered as a pair of rectangular spectacles with smoked glass lenses or as a prism made of the same colored glass. When used to read eldritch tomes, the lenses grant their user a +2 bonus to all his rolls against a book’s complexity or potency.

Ideological Conflict at the Temple School for Young Amphibians

I’m still waist deep in projects this week, but the level of work is slowly dwindling. I have a few things in the pipe for later this week or the next, but until then, here’s a little something I found on my old computer during the Great File Transfer of 2011:

This is also a reminder that The Fane of St. Toad, one of my first contributions to this thing of ours and a tribute to both Dave Arneson and C.A. Smith, remains available as a free download here. If you’ve missed it before, check it out now.

The Stars Are Right…And Much Sooner Than Expected

Start off your week with soul-searing revelations and alien vistas of non-Euclidean geometry. Realms of Crawling Chaos is now available as a PDF or saddle-stitched paperback. The tome is expected to go into distribution early this summer, but be sure to tell your FLGS about it now. Orcus…I mean Great Cthulhu commands it!